Old people and me

This weekend I attended a forum with a bunch of old people. I don't like old people. They like to touch you after you just meet. I'm not going to say that's always wrong (wink) but in this case, it is.

While looking particularly bored, I was pointed in the direction of someone who was under 50.
She was under 50.
She was also pregnant.
I think we might be on different stages in life. As in I'm not anywhere near the Marriage chapter. And definitely not the Kids chapter. Have you heard of my birth control? It's the best. It's called Gay. Ask your doctor. Side effects include but are definitely not limited to incessant text messaging, lots of feelings, and severe haircuts.

I told one woman I was moving to California. She informed me that "I must have a man out there."
Close.

At this forum, gubernatorial candidates were supposed to speak about some topic that none of them managed to speak about. It's like anyone that's smart enough to run for office, is smart enough not to run for office. One hell of a Catch 22 that's going to wind up getting us all killed.

There was also a white woman that got on stage and sang to a room full of black people.