Words With Girls

Hey. So obvs this place has been dead for a while. But ya know. I have other places to be funny now. That doesn't stop Yen from yelling at me for not writing here though. Anyway, the point is I'm finally taking this shit out into the world in other ways and most of that will be seen on this youtube channel I've created. It's really hard to create one of those. You have to have internet and an email address but somehow I pulled it off. Anyway, here's the first episode of the webseries and the first non-comedy thing to go up. I hope you all enjoy it and continue to support in any way you can. I'll try to keep being funny and depressing. It's the least I can do.

I am a walking unpopular opinion

Happy new year. Whereas most people see this as a time for growth and goals and well-wishes, I see this as an everexpanding doom that prolongs the length of time in which I have to endure a world full of things I hate. Here's a short random list of things I will continue to dislike in the new year.

1. People. Why stop now?
All of you can go to Hell which doesn't exist.

2. Hummus. Disgusting you guys.
Do you look at this and go "yummm." The fuck is wrong with you.

3. Friday Night Lights. I watched an entire 5 episodes and didn't tear up a single time so I don't understand what the fuss is. You people don't even like football. Or blacks.
This is time better spent.

4. People that wear colored contacts. The first place I look is your eyes. How can I trust you when the first thing I see is a lie.
Did you learn nothing

5. Fig Newtons. They're like the brussel sprouts of cookies. I've never had brussel sprouts but white people in sitcoms taught me they are not desirable.
When you thought they couldn't get any worse

6. Combs. Why can't they be more like brushes? Combs are the first step to looking like you care.

Good start

B: What do you know about sex with girls?
S: There are no penises involved.