Jesus Ultrasound

If I was all of a sudden a preggers virgin, I think I would know better than to have an abortion. I mean...the whole Mary, Joseph, Jesus saga is pretty popular. The Brits on the other hand not only think Jesus will have a nice ring around his head on an ultrasound but that this image will prevent virgins from gettin ultrasounds. I think that's what the billboard is for anyway.

Now if anyone gets an ultrasound with anything that remotely resembles a ring around a baby's head, it's gonnna be a shit storm. I mean, Jesus already pops into uteruses every now and then as a grown ass man. I guess it is warm in there. He's probably hit all the other popular vacation spots this planet has to offer.

Do ya see him? Do you?!? DO YOU????????

The end of Ladies' Night Specials

Do I think Ladies Night should be banned? Yes. Do I think Roy Den Hollander is douchetastic? Absolutely. He calls himself a second-class citizen. For real Mr. White Man that graduated from Columbia Business School and GW Law? You had to pay to get in the club and now you're a second class citizen? Right.

Then look at his website! Cuz I googled this fool!

But then again, women do get paid 77 cents to every dollar a man makes so maybe we should pay 77% of every price. I think that would be fair.

My Top 5 Fictional Album Titles of 2010

1. Name that sample

2. I front loaded this album

3. I'm a smug bastard who sucks live (I think MGMT is planning to use that one)

4. You should have bought the single on iTunes

5. Westboro Baptist Church's Greatest Hits

Even though I don't think it could be called a freak lightning bolt when they were hiking on a mountain while it was raining

Talk about the saddest shit to happen ever. Don't ever criticize me for not wanting to hike again.

Cute Vomit

Happy birthday to everyone whose birthday is today! Or just one person...whatevs.