Way to ruin TV, Bridesmaids

As the Whitney Cummings come-fest (see what I did there) continues, I decided I would give Whitney and 2 Broke Girls another shot before fall. Meaning I would watch the promos, upfronts, what have you. I actually wasn't too down on Broke Girls because I like Kat Dennings even though I don't remember why (probably The House Bunny) and some of the people they have on staff. I trust them I guess is what I'm saying...even though it's on CBS. Every time I even say CBS I'm pretty sure I lose five brain cells. Not like they die. I lose them. They hide and can't be found.

I actually laughed during that. During this shit though...


What the hell NBC? You have 3 of the best shows on TV. Last season you hit us with that awful piece of turtle shit, Perfect Couples. Now this? This show doesn't even have a premise. It's just two people with some fucking lines. Lines that aren't even funny. Even people who like Whitney Cummings think this is a mistake. And NBC. N B C. A multi-cam? Stop trying to Dutch Oven me. I know you see CBS and Modern Family and think, oh multi-cam is a good idea. It's not. It just isn't. It is not going to help your ratings. It is not going to make you number 3 or 2 or 1. It makes you look like you're trying too hard. A fucking multi-cam? Is this a joke?

Not a joke. A conspiracy. Bridesmaids did so well They had to come up with a plan to completely reverse all the good it did. Think it's a coincidence that 2 Broke Girls, Whitney, Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea (I want to slap box a chimp every time I see that name), and New Girl are all coming out at the same time? These supposed female-fronted "comedies." I sincerely hope these are better than I'm expecting.

For Your Consideration

Right now all I'm good for is talking about how painfully awful Asian and Indian kids are at sports. Hand eye coordination is something you have to learn just like you learn to read. Remember that before you pop out some wildly uncoordinated kid whose most significant athletic accomplishment will be double knotting their own shoes.

Anyway, point is this here list of TV on DVD was on the internet. Clearly this appeals to me because I watch a fuck ton of TV. I followed the prompt and talked about a show I marathoned on DVD. That's rare since I usually use los interwebs to binge on shows. Sometimes I purposely wait for shows to get a couple seasons in so I can imbibe them all at once. Sometimes I don't trust the show is as good as some say (because people are stupid) and I think on it for a few months before I give it a shot. Sometimes I'll watch something just because it's on Netflix Instant and thus requires no real effort from me. I am a lazy shit head after all. These are the shows I've consumed en masse.

This was recommended to me on my Facebook wall. After watching I was embarrassed I hadn't heard of it. I was not embarrassed at how quickly I watched all available episodes. It was on youtube at the time. Now I think it's on Hulu. It's about some English hoods that get super powers. The black dude has a high top fade situation which is an interesting life choice. I don't know why it's so great. It's just fucking entertaining. Impossible to get bored. You don't want to multitask while watching it which is kind of how I feel while watching Mad Men.

Parks and Recreation
I was all kinds of about Parks and Rec when the pilot aired. It had Amy Poehler, the dude from Everwood, and a diverse cast including a hot interracial lady person. How could that go wrong? But a few episodes in, it wasn't quite clicking. I stopped watching. Luckily, I gave Season 2 a shot and by God was it like 12 times better. I eventually went back and watched the rest of Season 1. Was it as good as Season 2? Not by a long shot. But the characters are so fucking spot on that it didn't matter. I actually suggest people who are unsure about watching to do the same thing...view Season 2 then return to Season 1. Then be awed by the pitch perfect season 3. Even the guest stars are amazing.

Community has the most unique style and imaginative writing on TV right now. It's super meta and has an abundance of pop culture references. Like Parks and Rec, you feel like you know the characters. And when you know the characters, you don't feel like the words are coming out of their mouths to be funny or to move the plot but because that's what makes sense for them. You have no clue what's going to come out of their mouths but once it does, you reckon it's the only thing that could have come out. Not to mention they have the best tag scenes on TV right now. Like this one.

How I Met Your Mother
I'm super into high fives so Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris) is the man. This show, like Bones is showing it's age. I really don't give a shit who the baby mama is anymore. But the first few seasons are solid. I love everyone in the cast except the main guy. I don't even know his name. His hair is stupid.

30 Rock
If you haven't marathoned 30 Rock at least 3 times, fuck you. Tina Fey is a magical princess that descended from Mt. Olympus to show you how to get shit done.

Party Down
The entire Party Down situation was a casualty. Great show that somehow was on Starz? I don't even know. But it was awesome while it lasted. And my number one feeling about that show is Lizzy Caplan should be in all the things.

Arrested Development
The weirdest show I've ever loved. You know how shows/movies with cult followings often have cooky shit going on...like Strangers with Candy? This show had some of those elements. A never-nude, possible incest, similarly named characters, etc. The kind of risks networks run from. But it worked. And it's a show built on callbacks which I jizz over. Also, the ensemble was just ape shit crazy good.

Archer is like if Arrested Development and Jeopardy had a cartoon crack baby. There's a lot of crossover personnel wise and Archer uses the same kind of callback style. It also makes the highest brow references of any show. Also, the most random. And if you're as obsessed with catching obscure references on TV as I am, this is for you. It makes me feel smarter than everyone and of course I like that because after all, I am. I'm a genius is what I'm saying.

Because when you're young, black, and gifted, you're mostly trying to strike the right balance of Riley and Huey.

Chappelle's Show
What would TV be today without Chappelle's Show? I honestly think it would be a lot different. This show was smart before it was cool to be smart. It was so smart that you didn't realize how smart it was and thus a bunch of dumbasses thought it was funny too. That's the real reason Chappelle had to quit. Because the dumbasses were laughing at the surface joke when you were supposed to be laughing at the second and third level of the jokes. The most perfect satire of all time.

Happy Endings
I watched Happy Endings as it aired. Then I marathoned it soon as the season ended because I specced it. It reminds me of the first season of Parks and Rec (still finding its footing) and a Judd Apatow movie (one step pass the comfort zone sometimes). The episodes were aired out of order which is always annoying. Also, skip the pilot but episode 2 is a keeper.

The League
If you wanna bro out, watch this show. It's about a fantasy football league. Nick Kroll and the dude from the Show Me Your Genitals video are in it.

Morality! Technology! Mystery! But mostly Eliza Dushku. The only Whedon I've been into. Not that I've tried or anything.

It was soooo good then it got so confusing and tangled up and no one really knew what was happening anymore. It was such a ridiculous time line with the jumping back and forth through the future and past and 34950 different characters to keep track off. Overly ambitious some would say. I might be the only person on earth that enjoys Hayden Panettierre outside of her work in Remember the Titans. I'm ok with that.

Marathoned the first season. Couldn't do it any more. It's fucking creepy. I can't watch this dude kill people. What the shit man. I have to give it props because the storyline was so compelling that I watched this weird looking guy awkward his way through the whole season just so I could find out how it wrapped up. Usually I would just look on Wikipedia. This goes into the same boat as people who love SVU and shit like that. Why do you wanna see a procedural where every other episode is someone getting raped? It's sickening. And it's not even fucking good guys. Do better.

Rewatching Glee was so sad. I saw all the things it could have been. How much better the first season was constructed than the second season. All the improbabilities, the inconsistencies, and just stupidity. The dropping of story lines and ignoring characters. The ridiculous notion that they could write and arrange original songs in a few hours. Through all of that there's still something about it. I don't care about what happens to any of the characters. Finn could get hit by a plane in a swimming pool and I wouldn't care long enough for Rachel to get through whatever Broadway song she would sing about it. But the moments when it gets it right...those rare inbetween far far apart moments keep me watching. Plus the Darren Criss performances. And Naya Rivera's face portion.

I've also marathoned The Office, South of Nowhere, and Lost Girl. But who doesn't watch The Office, ya know? I wouldn't really recommend South of Nowhere to the average person and Lost Girl is Canadian. Just seems wrong to give Canada props for anything.

These consist overwhelmingly of comedies. Dramas aren't my favorite things in the world. When they're good, they're good. But when they're bad, they're NCIS: Los Angeles.