tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82470308648883972862024-02-06T19:20:29.398-08:00B is hilariousjust some dumb dumbBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.comBlogger72125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-22011775615877871822012-06-20T11:32:00.000-07:002012-10-24T17:00:30.788-07:00Words With GirlsHey. So obvs this place has been dead for a while. But ya know. I have <a href="http://www.autostraddle.com/">other places</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/BisHilarious/">to be funny now</a>. That doesn't stop Yen from yelling at me for not writing here though. Anyway, the point is I'm finally taking this shit out into the world in other ways and most of that will be seen on <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/WordsWithGirls/featured">this youtube channel</a> I've created. It's really hard to create one of those. You have to have internet and an email address but somehow I pulled it off. Anyway, here's the first episode of the webseries and the first non-comedy thing to go up. I hope you all enjoy it and continue to support in any way you can. I'll try to keep being funny and depressing. It's the least I can do.<br />
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1. People. Why stop now?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All of you can go to Hell which doesn't exist.</td></tr>
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2. Hummus. Disgusting you guys.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio1onSSJHku6bmjNNKiRtbyb9YrUqoYqmtu514gPG6Z4BPl6nSQ8Ov8dKwp6_RMNJaUkYdelppTfqvpIZ-qc9WdtUtEG0fvn6nJR_FTYUQqayZgBUvl-z_fJIxyOnLT8bKvIKKJVG17jtq/s1600/hummus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio1onSSJHku6bmjNNKiRtbyb9YrUqoYqmtu514gPG6Z4BPl6nSQ8Ov8dKwp6_RMNJaUkYdelppTfqvpIZ-qc9WdtUtEG0fvn6nJR_FTYUQqayZgBUvl-z_fJIxyOnLT8bKvIKKJVG17jtq/s320/hummus.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do you look at this and go "yummm." The fuck is wrong with you.</td></tr>
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3. Friday Night Lights. I watched an entire 5 episodes and didn't tear up a single time so I don't understand what the fuss is. You people don't even like football. Or blacks.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPy_BFuCDUdj2csu1M1HNXYFiXpYM8W9s_kYn9kUfx7NWioEjtHdxPVGMKJRFxVFEv_mRAlFMGeKvOfs9xJXvJwidP9kjuptsFDjMl5HIWGa-pRJOOrq3I2pZa-xUnGAY3eM3Q6vFMuBP0/s1600/fnl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPy_BFuCDUdj2csu1M1HNXYFiXpYM8W9s_kYn9kUfx7NWioEjtHdxPVGMKJRFxVFEv_mRAlFMGeKvOfs9xJXvJwidP9kjuptsFDjMl5HIWGa-pRJOOrq3I2pZa-xUnGAY3eM3Q6vFMuBP0/s320/fnl.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is time better spent.</td></tr>
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4. People that wear colored contacts. The first place I look is your eyes. How can I trust you when the first thing I see is a lie.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Did you learn nothing</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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5. Fig Newtons. They're like the brussel sprouts of cookies. I've never had brussel sprouts but white people in sitcoms taught me they are not desirable.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk3oOm9YJa7Rio1Cbqt-60rqiOjvWnEIMm5Hrrix_7U5wyN57RMNhyC4cB57sH5E9q6mXCmpLKhOSPIHztGcc4gFw4RGqdTzlZz4IDogDbpWovfLASMG0AAKVZ51Qlgx76rHFSfxmQlPoW/s1600/fignewtons.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk3oOm9YJa7Rio1Cbqt-60rqiOjvWnEIMm5Hrrix_7U5wyN57RMNhyC4cB57sH5E9q6mXCmpLKhOSPIHztGcc4gFw4RGqdTzlZz4IDogDbpWovfLASMG0AAKVZ51Qlgx76rHFSfxmQlPoW/s320/fignewtons.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When you thought they couldn't get any worse</td></tr>
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6. Combs. Why can't they be more like brushes? Combs are the first step to looking like you care.Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-71815402002979899482011-08-04T19:34:00.000-07:002011-08-04T23:40:13.263-07:00Way to ruin TV, BridesmaidsAs the Whitney Cummings come-fest (see what I did there) continues, I decided I would give <i>Whitney </i>and <i>2 Broke Girls </i>another shot before fall. Meaning I would watch the promos, upfronts, what have you. I actually wasn't too down on <i>Broke Girls </i>because I like Kat Dennings even though I don't remember why (probably <i>The House Bunny</i>) and some of the people they have on staff. I trust them I guess is what I'm saying...even though it's on CBS. Every time I even say CBS I'm pretty sure I lose five brain cells. Not like they die. I lose them. They hide and can't be found.<br />
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I actually laughed during that. During this shit though...<br />
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What the hell NBC? You have 3 of the best shows on TV. Last season you hit us with that awful piece of turtle shit, <i>Perfect Couples.</i> Now this? This show doesn't even have a premise. It's just two people with some fucking lines. Lines that aren't even funny. Even people who like Whitney Cummings think this is a mistake. And NBC. <b>N B C</b>. A multi-cam? Stop trying to Dutch Oven me. I know you see CBS and <i>Modern Family</i> and think, oh multi-cam is a good idea. It's not. It just isn't. It is not going to help your ratings. It is not going to make you number 3 or 2 or 1. It makes you look like you're trying too hard. A fucking multi-cam? Is this a joke?<br />
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Not a joke. A conspiracy. Bridesmaids did so well <b>They</b> had to come up with a plan to completely reverse all the good it did. Think it's a coincidence that <i>2 Broke Girls, Whitney, Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea </i>(I want to slap box a chimp every time I see that name), and <i>New Girl </i>are all coming out at the same time? These supposed female-fronted "comedies." I sincerely hope these are better than I'm expecting.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="333" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/NUOmorwf8Wk" width="500"></iframe>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-8620515453504512612011-08-02T02:20:00.000-07:002011-08-04T19:38:48.086-07:00For Your ConsiderationRight now all I'm good for is talking about how painfully awful Asian and Indian kids are at sports. Hand eye coordination is something you have to learn just like you learn to read. Remember that before you pop out some wildly uncoordinated kid whose most significant athletic accomplishment will be double knotting their own shoes.<br />
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Anyway, point is this here<a href="http://www.autostraddle.com/autostraddle-roundtable-tv-on-dvd-100364/"> list of TV on DVD</a> was on the internet. Clearly this appeals to me because I watch a fuck ton of TV. I followed the prompt and talked about a show I marathoned on DVD. That's rare since I usually use los interwebs to binge on shows. Sometimes I purposely wait for shows to get a couple seasons in so I can imbibe them all at once. Sometimes I don't trust the show is as good as some say (because people are stupid) and I think on it for a few months before I give it a shot. Sometimes I'll watch something just because it's on Netflix Instant and thus requires no real effort from me. I am a lazy shit head after all. These are the shows I've consumed en masse.<br />
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<b>Misfits</b><br />
This was recommended to me on my Facebook wall. After watching I was embarrassed I hadn't heard of it. I was not embarrassed at how quickly I watched all available episodes. It was on youtube at the time. Now I think it's on Hulu. It's about some English hoods that get super powers. The black dude has a high top fade situation which is an interesting life choice. I don't know why it's so great. It's just fucking entertaining. Impossible to get bored. You don't want to multitask while watching it which is kind of how I feel while watching Mad Men.<br />
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<b>Parks and Recreation</b><br />
I was all kinds of about Parks and Rec when the pilot aired. It had Amy Poehler, the dude from Everwood, and a diverse cast including a hot interracial lady person. How could that go wrong? But a few episodes in, it wasn't quite clicking. I stopped watching. Luckily, I gave Season 2 a shot and by God was it like 12 times better. I eventually went back and watched the rest of Season 1. Was it as good as Season 2? Not by a long shot. But the characters are so fucking spot on that it didn't matter. I actually suggest people who are unsure about watching to do the same thing...view Season 2 then return to Season 1. Then be awed by the pitch perfect season 3. Even the guest stars are amazing.<br />
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<b>Community</b><br />
Community has the most unique style and imaginative writing on TV right now. It's super meta and has an abundance of pop culture references. Like Parks and Rec, you feel like you know the characters. And when you know the characters, you don't feel like the words are coming out of their mouths to be funny or to move the plot but because that's what makes sense for them. You have no clue what's going to come out of their mouths but once it does, you reckon it's the only thing that could have come out. Not to mention they have the best tag scenes on TV right now. Like this one. <br />
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<b>How I Met Your Mother</b><br />
I'm super into high fives so Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris) is the man. This show, like Bones is showing it's age. I really don't give a shit who the baby mama is anymore. But the first few seasons are solid. I love everyone in the cast except the main guy. I don't even know his name. His hair is stupid.<br />
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<b>30 Rock</b><br />
If you haven't marathoned 30 Rock at least 3 times, fuck you. Tina Fey is a magical princess that descended from Mt. Olympus to show you how to get shit done.<br />
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<b>Party Down</b><br />
The entire Party Down situation was a casualty. Great show that somehow was on Starz? I don't even know. But it was awesome while it lasted. And my number one feeling about that show is Lizzy Caplan should be in all the things.<br />
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<b>Arrested Development</b><br />
The weirdest show I've ever loved. You know how shows/movies with cult followings often have cooky shit going on...like Strangers with Candy? This show had some of those elements. A never-nude, possible incest, similarly named characters, etc. The kind of risks networks run from. But it worked. And it's a show built on callbacks which I jizz over. Also, the ensemble was just ape shit crazy good.<br />
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<b>Archer</b><br />
Archer is like if Arrested Development and Jeopardy had a cartoon crack baby. There's a lot of crossover personnel wise and Archer uses the same kind of callback style. It also makes the highest brow references of any show. Also, the most random. And if you're as obsessed with catching obscure references on TV as I am, this is for you. It makes me feel smarter than everyone and of course I like that because after all, I am. I'm a genius is what I'm saying.<br />
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<b>Boondocks</b><br />
Because when you're young, black, and gifted, you're mostly trying to strike the right balance of Riley and Huey.<br />
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<b>Chappelle's Show</b><br />
What would TV be today without Chappelle's Show? I honestly think it would be a lot different. This show was smart before it was cool to be smart. It was so smart that you didn't realize how smart it was and thus a bunch of dumbasses thought it was funny too. That's the real reason Chappelle had to quit. Because the dumbasses were laughing at the surface joke when you were supposed to be laughing at the second and third level of the jokes. The most perfect satire of all time.<br />
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<b>Happy Endings</b><br />
I watched Happy Endings as it aired. Then I marathoned it soon as the season ended because I specced it. It reminds me of the first season of Parks and Rec (still finding its footing) and a Judd Apatow movie (one step pass the comfort zone sometimes). The episodes were aired out of order which is always annoying. Also, skip the pilot but episode 2 is a keeper.<br />
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<b>The League</b><br />
If you wanna bro out, watch this show. It's about a fantasy football league. Nick Kroll and the dude from the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqXi8WmQ_WM">Show Me Your Genitals</a><b> </b>video are in it.<b> </b><br />
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<b>Dollhouse</b><br />
Morality! Technology! Mystery! But mostly Eliza Dushku. The only Whedon I've been into. Not that I've tried or anything.<br />
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<b>Heroes</b><br />
It was soooo good then it got so confusing and tangled up and no one really knew what was happening anymore. It was such a ridiculous time line with the jumping back and forth through the future and past and 34950 different characters to keep track off. Overly ambitious some would say. I might be the only person on earth that enjoys Hayden Panettierre outside of her work in Remember the Titans. I'm ok with that.<br />
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<b>Dexter</b><br />
Marathoned the first season. Couldn't do it any more. It's fucking creepy. I can't watch this dude kill people. What the shit man. I have to give it props because the storyline was so compelling that I watched this weird looking guy awkward his way through the whole season just so I could find out how it wrapped up. Usually I would just look on Wikipedia. This goes into the same boat as people who love SVU and shit like that. Why do you wanna see a procedural where every other episode is someone getting raped? It's sickening. And it's not even fucking good guys. Do better.<br />
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<b>Glee</b><br />
Rewatching Glee was so sad. I saw all the things it could have been. How much better the first season was constructed than the second season. All the improbabilities, the inconsistencies, and just stupidity. The dropping of story lines and ignoring characters. The ridiculous notion that they could write and arrange original songs in a few hours. Through all of that there's still something about it. I don't care about what happens to any of the characters. Finn could get hit by a plane in a swimming pool and I wouldn't care long enough for Rachel to get through whatever Broadway song she would sing about it. But the moments when it gets it right...those rare inbetween far far apart moments keep me watching. Plus the Darren Criss performances. And Naya Rivera's face portion.<br />
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I've also marathoned The Office, South of Nowhere, and Lost Girl. But who doesn't watch The Office, ya know? I wouldn't really recommend South of Nowhere to the average person and Lost Girl is Canadian. Just seems wrong to give Canada props for anything.<br />
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These consist overwhelmingly of comedies. Dramas aren't my favorite things in the world. When they're good, they're good. But when they're bad, they're NCIS: Los Angeles.Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-52867812055653911132011-06-03T20:54:00.000-07:002014-08-02T16:18:45.343-07:00Why I'm not a hipster<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Today while riding my bike home, I stopped at a stoplight. There were three other people there. Four individuals on bikes at one stoplight. That was a lot to handle to begin with. Then this hipster nodded at me. Not a friendly nod. It was smug. It was self-congratulating. It was a fucking hipster nod. I couldn't believe it. Sure I had on Wayfarer looking sunglasses (got them for a buck fifty...that's not slang. They were literally $1.50), a bandanna (my ears get cold), and was listening to Local Natives (if you don't like Sticky Thread you can just kill yourself) but I'm not a hipster. Off the top of my head, here are a few reasons why.</span></span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I'm pissed off already</span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span">1. I don't like <i>The Royal Tenenbaums</i>. Not sure why this one popped into my head as a go to hipster flick but it is as are a bunch of others. Including <i>The Darjeeling Limited</i> which I have yet to see. It sounds like it would be an awesome Bollywood film but will probably be hipster nonsense. Netflix says I will give it two stars. Maybe I'll give it three because of the score.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">2. I hate bikes even though it is my primary mode of transportation. But it's not a fixie because there are these things called hills. Not sure if you fuckers on one speed bikes have heard of them.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">3. I don't like beer. This includes PBR.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">4. I am a fan of power clashing grays but my clothes still match. I also layer properly.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">5. Wispy mustaches are stupid unless you are dressed as a Mario Brother. Why are they the Mario Brothers? That makes it seem like Mario is a last name. Nintendo, do better.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">6. Gays already have the triangle. So what are you doing?</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llihqj702W1qehy34o1_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llihqj702W1qehy34o1_400.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">7. I don't drink coffee. I feel the same way about coffee snobs the way I do about wine snobs. They're douches.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://kontraband.se/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/coffee.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://kontraband.se/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/coffee.png" height="320" width="320" /></a></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">8. I don't pretend to not give a fuck...I actually don't.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKlc45Y4f8mMm-0AEcu480lVuPvuPYfimFSS03uPsf-Uparfo6LDvmt-pKcWCm0yoqdUyIsWdmBKTX6JfGumUtGYIFRIy8rtyTBf_NiD7jVXq2iesDPCepZp8Af2FIeFKRY7VL2G7d3yU/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKlc45Y4f8mMm-0AEcu480lVuPvuPYfimFSS03uPsf-Uparfo6LDvmt-pKcWCm0yoqdUyIsWdmBKTX6JfGumUtGYIFRIy8rtyTBf_NiD7jVXq2iesDPCepZp8Af2FIeFKRY7VL2G7d3yU/" /></a></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">9. I don't know shit about philosophy unless you count being awesome as a philosophy. Then I know a lot.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://maudnewton.com/images/2008/20080509_poeandderrida.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://maudnewton.com/images/2008/20080509_poeandderrida.gif" height="306" width="400" /></a></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">10. I don't have a Mac. I have a huge PC that my mom got from Walmart because that's how we living.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">11. I only read screenplays because I'm too poor to buy books and I don't want to ride the wheels of death to the library.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">12. I'm way better at being sarcastic than hipsters. It's not even a contest.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">13. I prefer American Comedy to British Comedy.</span></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMPIXdYIx7Z8IZSB0dzp8AUOUs0gKj-7M-FVvUtqvdx2T-Z-0qj2A_7sCYEdI2b9NUHbeLvjHdWZv57xU5lMhmCqdvfFkKbHHH6BYH08l80HdqoyYncRY5gqusylRN-UZH0CPZr4s0cEVw/s1600/ger.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMPIXdYIx7Z8IZSB0dzp8AUOUs0gKj-7M-FVvUtqvdx2T-Z-0qj2A_7sCYEdI2b9NUHbeLvjHdWZv57xU5lMhmCqdvfFkKbHHH6BYH08l80HdqoyYncRY5gqusylRN-UZH0CPZr4s0cEVw/s320/ger.jpg" height="257" width="320" /></a></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Treated</td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">14. Enough with the fucking dubstep.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">15. I think I like one Arcade Fire song. In total.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://desmond.yfrog.com/Himg615/scaled.php?tn=0&server=615&filename=j07m.jpg&xsize=640&ysize=640" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://desmond.yfrog.com/Himg615/scaled.php?tn=0&server=615&filename=j07m.jpg&xsize=640&ysize=640" height="128" width="400" /></a></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">16. I know leggins are not pants.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">17. I don't wear plaid or floral prints.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">18. I don't wear Converse, Reeboks, Vans, or Toms. It's just embarrassing.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lj3gf1LhY41qgk1guo1_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lj3gf1LhY41qgk1guo1_400.jpg" height="320" width="310" /></a></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">19. I don't take pictures of myself...but I should. Look at me.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">20. I don't have a tattoo. Black people don't fare well as is. Black people with tattoos fare even worse.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">21. I eat meat. Most of which comes from discount grocery stores because organic shit is expensive. I'm still going to live longer than you though so...smart use of money there.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lk6pv3dEUD1qdi5c7o1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lk6pv3dEUD1qdi5c7o1_500.png" height="400" width="356" /></a></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span">22. I wear pants that don't show my ankles...because those kinds of pants are capris and I'm not twelve.</span></span> Either that or you're flooding which makes you look like the poorest kid from middle school. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span">And when you're actually broke you do pretty much everything in your power not to look broke.</span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">I know that in the 1940's the original hipsters were just white kids trying to be as cool as the black people playing jazz. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Which brings me to why I truly loathe hipsterdom. It's an obsession with otherness while still being firmly planted in privilege.</span></span></span></span></span></div>
Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-72894086190983696212011-05-23T03:06:00.000-07:002011-05-23T03:07:43.442-07:00Best friends forever...or until you realize I love you<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>: don't you remember the days when you were in love with your best friend</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">M</span>: HARD TIMES</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"> </span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>: lolol. I love you guys</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">M</span>: love you too b!</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">but probs not quite as much as I loved my best friend in high school.</span></div></span></span></div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-31433836235848611922011-05-21T20:03:00.000-07:002011-05-21T20:03:50.560-07:00Since today is the day of rapture<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>: I want to compose a message that says these are all the reasons you should like me</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">and then list all of the things</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>: OMG B THIS IS WHY YOU ARE A GOD</span></div><div></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>: #34. You say I am a god</span></div></span></span></div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-68744030398367142062011-05-20T11:08:00.000-07:002011-05-20T11:08:02.759-07:00Did you talk to some food about it?<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>: what did she say at dinner?</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>: can't really remember</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">I just remember being scared</span></div></span></span></div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-5661679202410253612011-05-19T16:51:00.000-07:002011-05-19T16:51:30.837-07:00But what if she only acted like she loves me<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>: Naya Rivera is a good actress. And that's not influenced at all by the fact I would do dirty dirty things to her</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>: no actuallly i noticed she is a really good actress</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">like stellar in that scene</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">I want her to love you, B</span></div></span></span></div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-73872834377059459152011-05-18T15:33:00.000-07:002011-05-18T15:33:13.395-07:00We need a new book then<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><b>B</b>: I feel like such a fucking huge loser</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>: omg B WE ARE FINALLY ON THE SAME PAGE</span></div></span></span></div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-19706042967412168882011-05-17T12:15:00.000-07:002011-06-14T16:50:16.887-07:00Thanks Zuckerberg<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><b>C:</b> REAL TALK</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">WE HAVE PROBLEMS</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">OMFG WE ARE STALKERS</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">WE ARE NOT WINNING HERE</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">shit</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><b>B:</b> lmao</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">YOU SAW SOCIAL NETWORK</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">THIS IS WHAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">hot or not!</span></div></span></span></div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-20283957819862777892011-05-16T22:32:00.000-07:002011-05-16T22:32:46.582-07:00But I'm not pyschic<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: inherit;"><b>B:</b> I'm watching That's So Raven </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: inherit;"><b>C:</b> CAN WE PLEASE BE THE GAY VERSION OF RAVEN AND THE RED HEAD</span></span>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-14396463240212987792011-05-15T12:10:00.000-07:002011-05-15T12:10:41.346-07:00It was last week<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>C:</b> She's gotta get the crazy out. 6 months from now she will be embarrassed</span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>B:</b> Is it International Crazy Person Day?</span></div><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"> Did I miss it?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"> </span></span></span></div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-65360465345932161982011-05-13T12:31:00.000-07:002011-05-13T12:31:36.489-07:00That might put me in the hole<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font: small 'Times New Roman'; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"></span></span><br />
<div><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>: omg in bed eating pizza listening to closer to fine</span></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left; font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">winning</span></span></div><div><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>: had to google Closer to Fine</span></span></span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left; font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">not big on Indigo Girls</span></span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left; font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>: um you just lost 10 million gay points</span></span></span></div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-81854995480027792702011-05-13T12:29:00.000-07:002011-05-13T12:29:30.064-07:00So not a hot dog<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>: I could go for a delish cold puppy right now and punkey brewster</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><strong>B</strong>: why does the puppy have to be cold</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><strong>C:</strong> chili dog i mean</span></span></span>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-27613264344965037082011-05-10T21:24:00.000-07:002011-05-10T21:26:55.020-07:00I thought we were on to something<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><div><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>: my uncle is watching cops</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">lol</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>: hahahaha</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">that still comes on?</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>: hell yeah on fox</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>: we'll lets just create the new Cops</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">brainstorm, on</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">talk about staying power</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>: haha what do you mean new cops?</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>: like a show as easy to shoot and as ignorant that people will watch forever</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>: Toads</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>: hahahahaha</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">and ruin hundreds of Yalies' futures?</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">I would feel guilty</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">does Harvard have a Toad's equivalent?</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">of course not</span></div><div><span style="color: #888888; display: block; float: left;"> </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>: no, Boston sucks</span></div></span></span></div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-9505078149371110862011-05-03T18:31:00.000-07:002011-05-03T18:33:01.325-07:00To jackass or not to jackass?Not too long ago there was a thirty minute period of time in which I was <b>getting.shit.done.</b><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYerv3gPOaceMe32KUOYzKHx_UNItqhInxQppLiH3AwD6vNI2HXRjbSnVSG70R1szs9d61n_Tr-jSQvcYBjDBrOWmnJbzwouHhnhjs_yyeINbzNQPNiRITtiZZlbwaVDY9rvCZtrPt5CNp/s1600/jimbeam1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYerv3gPOaceMe32KUOYzKHx_UNItqhInxQppLiH3AwD6vNI2HXRjbSnVSG70R1szs9d61n_Tr-jSQvcYBjDBrOWmnJbzwouHhnhjs_yyeINbzNQPNiRITtiZZlbwaVDY9rvCZtrPt5CNp/s1600/jimbeam1.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thanks for your assistance</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Mainly this included encouraging debaucherous behavior, something I am prone to do every now and again. In the midst of said encouraging, I was asked, "What should I do?" about a girl situation by the person whose life I was debaucherizing. Rather than offering helpful advice, I decided to be my usual gruff self and said, "Don't you have game?" I thought I'd already done the hard part by bringing the interested parties together. All they had to do was close, right?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd_KyCft7G7t5quL5XB6H3EFfiuA1CTWa2dMBNivjx_1YuByhZ0RD1M0-4OTT-VdbbrNHlC14fnnjf9vshM_SOLTnLSkoeC2I1U1NNotq53ucURzpBvqcYsSqyh02F5m76Rbe-GSghqqwe/s1600/pitchers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="148" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd_KyCft7G7t5quL5XB6H3EFfiuA1CTWa2dMBNivjx_1YuByhZ0RD1M0-4OTT-VdbbrNHlC14fnnjf9vshM_SOLTnLSkoeC2I1U1NNotq53ucURzpBvqcYsSqyh02F5m76Rbe-GSghqqwe/s320/pitchers.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Then I thought back to advice I'd been given recently. It ran the gamut from playing it cool to learning the art of hitting it and quitting it.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisdqQ_JTOmRCrdZsaxVMW1hX-kxehU1aPR2iZFY1jiV1aI5DTzYlJk6gCdg6o-SYcZmwLP9SCjEDq5cgSQfGMyuW4o_DkQ-wz1SLHVb5a-NfR5KBFRcxUpJKBlY4dtTWMPW2EfijNFjrqh/s1600/panties.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisdqQ_JTOmRCrdZsaxVMW1hX-kxehU1aPR2iZFY1jiV1aI5DTzYlJk6gCdg6o-SYcZmwLP9SCjEDq5cgSQfGMyuW4o_DkQ-wz1SLHVb5a-NfR5KBFRcxUpJKBlY4dtTWMPW2EfijNFjrqh/s320/panties.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>As snarky as I may be, I try to preach the importance of not being an asshole when pursuing or being pursued. Clearly I'm not perfect...I have my moments but overall when it comes to these things, I'm not a jerk. I think.<br />
<br />
The thing about being an asshole to someone pursuing you is they have a mouth. A lot of people forget that humans do this thing called communicating. Especially when it can make someone look bad? That's the best kind of communication there is. When you're an ass to someone, they sometimes feel the need to exaggerate the situation to make you look even worse. Sometimes you can wiggle your way out of the nonsense by exposing one of their lies because if one thing doesn't fit, they lose credibility.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU7TE4L1950x111GPMY3-yw7YFwnAJ-uvstDLtozdLXE_qQH0ombOA8vbxoyhbrigxs3INQz6AjgN6koLWZnRzgB4JDyoILKJMGKn4eyhNExAtAKiY_mbqa_aU0RLLtFVzWViQijLdcy9z/s1600/glove.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU7TE4L1950x111GPMY3-yw7YFwnAJ-uvstDLtozdLXE_qQH0ombOA8vbxoyhbrigxs3INQz6AjgN6koLWZnRzgB4JDyoILKJMGKn4eyhNExAtAKiY_mbqa_aU0RLLtFVzWViQijLdcy9z/s320/glove.jpg" width="298" /></a></div>Little did I know, that while I'm out trying to be asshole free like a jellyfish, there are people whose whole game is being assholes. And it works. Imagine my surprise.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCWOgpxbjhVtGuBM-09-RSaeEcGLYsKLmKOOn_dcO_squcZYik5K4eojleLpicihSv2AeSgH53eAEQ2hFmuS8Rs3kdn_kcxUvtacoKKF57q-RxmwIctPArTAYH8YiH17VfEN2M9HA2pZag/s1600/aholes.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCWOgpxbjhVtGuBM-09-RSaeEcGLYsKLmKOOn_dcO_squcZYik5K4eojleLpicihSv2AeSgH53eAEQ2hFmuS8Rs3kdn_kcxUvtacoKKF57q-RxmwIctPArTAYH8YiH17VfEN2M9HA2pZag/s1600/aholes.png" /></a></div>The thing about people who like jackasses is they don't realize that's their MO. Let me help.<br />
Are you constantly emotionally unavailable? Do you only have bad break-ups? Do your friends hate all of your significant others?<br />
If so, this is probably you. <b>Stop it</b>. If you find that you like someone who only likes jackasses and you're not a jackass, Lord help you. It's hard to fake being a jackass. You can try drinking Vodka Redbulls, withholding compliments, and never retaining information pertinent to people's lives or interests but sooner or later you're going to slip up.<br />
<br />
<u>Things not to do:</u><br />
Ask, "How are you?" and mean it.<br />
Say, "You look nice/pretty/anything that is not an insult."<br />
Know their last name.<br />
Attempt to spend time with a person unless it is a direct lead up to sexy time activities.<br />
<br />
I could go on but you get the point. Pretty much anything that acknowledges that they add any positivity to the world other than being your possible sex partner will out you as a non-jackass. This will seem out of sorts and therefore make you a weirdo in their eyes. I wish I had a solution but I don't. Oh well.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://hipsterchildishgambino.tumblr.com/post/3987590453"><img border="0" height="216" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lidh3xH0na1qhk58po1_500.png" width="320" /></a></div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-5120058379375874892011-03-31T01:36:00.000-07:002011-03-31T07:44:08.362-07:00The time I stayed up all night because my friend's roommate is a word slightly nicer than cuntHey remember a couple weeks ago when I was like I'm def. gonna update this more and then I did like two posts and that was the end of that. My bad. Not gonna promise any such thing this time. But I will say that trips to the East Coast do give me a little ammo. I got a fair amount of shit for not writing anything funny in a while. I assure you I am no less hilarious. It's kind of unfortunate. I blame it on my lack of anything resembling a life on the West Coast. I briefly considered changing the heading of the blog to "B is depressing" but I thought that might be a little much.<br />
<br />
You know what wouldn't be a little much? Karate chopping my friend's roommate in the throat. At just around 3:30am Get Low started blasting from their room. Let me tell you. I was all kinds of confused because number 1, Get Low. Really? Initially I thought it to be a cell phone ringer. But the song just kept going and in my half awake state I was like damn this is a long fucking ringer. Then the song ended. And voices came on. And another song played. And I realized.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">It was the fucking radio.</span></div><br />
You guys. This girl has the radio come on at 3:30am and just lets it play. It's been almost an hour. I have not heard a shift in that room. Not only am I a heavy sleeper, I can go to sleep in about half of a second. How the fuck has no one reacted. How the hell has my friend, this girl's roommate, not gotten up and ripped the radio out the wall. I'm about two seconds from doing it myself except that I may want to crash here again at some point in the near future.<br />
<br />
I've gotten into some situations - I've had some strange stuff happen to me. And somehow I've kept my black ass out of jail. If this girl were my roommate, there's no way. I would stuff that radio down her esophagus the first time she pulled that shit. I've been thinking about what I would say to this mystery girl if she popped into the common room to say something like, "the glow from your computer screen is distracting." Or "your typing is really keeping me up." Because I imagine that this girl has to be so out of touch with reality these are the kind of things she does. I haven't seen her yet but I imagine she looks something like this.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/theblog/archive/thering-girl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/theblog/archive/thering-girl.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
There was another girl in the suite who was pretty awesome. My friend made her read <a href="http://bishilarious.blogspot.com/2010/06/breaking-mixie-kid-stereotypes.html">this post</a> out loud. She forever has my respect. So that brings the total of people in this suite I like up to two. And NO ONE has said anything to her? No one has cursed her out? How about a passive aggressive note? I really can't believe this. Earlier today someone was saying how nice the group of Yalies they hang out with is. There are plenty of Yalies that do not fall in the nice category. I'm wondering how this terrible terrible sack of shit human being managed to live with three nice students who let this non-sense continue. They should slap her with a hipster.<br />
<br />
OH MY GOD IT JUST ENDED. THE MUSIC JUST WENT OFF. SHE TOTALLY FELT MY FUCKING EVIL VIBES REVERBERATING THROUGH THIS COMMON ROOM. I WIN.<br />
<br />
I'm fairly surprised the music played at 4am is similar to what's played at any other time. I kinda hoped they would just play infomercials made just for the radio. Maybe have people using the Shake Weight and narrating the workout? Or they could just play porn and make people listening imagine what was happening. Just some ideas.<br />
<br />
The music just came back on. Who is this devil. Who lets her breathe.Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-26438518306162649352011-03-15T16:55:00.000-07:002011-03-15T18:39:01.128-07:00Beyonder and word vomitThis is a post in which I attempt to address the music of Jarren Simmons but I really address my and possibly your life in a way that I find disgusting but necessary.<br />
<br />
Xtra Medium has been giving us bangaz for years now. Literally years. Doesn't that make you a little depressed? No? Just me? Anyway, YM embodies my college experience the way no other music can...mostly because he was there. "Attending" the same classes. Eating the same late night food. Lifting the same weights. <strike>Kissing the same girls</strike>. Even back then the production value of his music blew me. The songs we played in the locker room while taking 3 minute showers so we could make it to Commons before Leroy stopped making pizzas into anthems depicting Yale's beloved student-athletes. I will never hear Bling Bling again without changing the words to those of <i>Kenny Bling</i>. When I'm feeling nostalgic about college, there's nothing better to throw on.<br />
<br />
Fortunately, (or unfortunately,) we are still on a journey together. Now more than ever, those years feel like the shortest gladdest years of life. Maybe we did the Ivy League wrong. Maybe I'm overreacting. Or maybe we have souls that would putter out and die if we took a job we wanted instead of one we Wanted. Us creative types. Writing words for you. Singing songs for you. Making pretty pictures for you. Because whether you realize it or not, we are you. Tucked away in our apartments or at your local coffee shop <b>doing what we may or may not do best but doing it because we have to</b>. Because we can't be just another cog. Because it's bigger than us and it's JUST US at the same time.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #333333; line-height: 15px; text-align: left;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/02B29PTRsck" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<i>Leather Laces</i> seems to be the track of choice for a lot of people but who would I be if I didn't show my appreciation for <i>Upstream</i>, the song featuring J Prophet. I was listening to him long before our days at The Eliot. Since the time of Bulldog Days when he sent me <i>Run to the Rock.</i><br />
<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #333333; line-height: 15px; text-align: left;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #333333; line-height: 15px; text-align: left;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/HQSVIg7HcWo" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe></span></span></span><br />
<br />
I don't know how much time Xtra Medium put into this mixtape just like you don't know how much time I put into anything I write. But I know what he put into it. I think a lot of us are <i>Broke but not Broken</i> but I don't know how long we can stay that way. In this fucked up world we live in we're all a bunch of camels and there's no telling where that next piece of straw is going to come from. Let Our art be your water and strength. All you need is the heart to keep going.<br />
<br />
DL the mixtape <a href="http://www.mediafire.com/?lyj1tyhpr3yipe4">here</a>.<br />
<br />
Xtra Medium - <span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.oakboyfresh.com/">www.oakboyfresh.com/</a></span><br />
<div style="font-family: inherit;">J Prophet - <span style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #333333; line-height: 15px; text-align: left;"></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.jprophet.com/" onmousedown="UntrustedLink.bootstrap($(this), "32e04", event,
bagof(null));" rel="nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: underline;" target="_blank">www.JPROPHET.com</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #333333; line-height: 15px; text-align: left;"> </span></span></span></div>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-90536708259217257202011-03-13T00:52:00.000-08:002011-03-13T00:52:31.422-08:00I'm mad at bathrooms again<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8uO1jw7Op2GNMqGK8ke-r2XemzAfQwgeAs2MROCebRT6uwTrix0srWgUxDCgIUM73djnVcK8mM_7ZdpKaJeD3x6LOf8fZ0Dh670NqiXc4jsVXmtTsOEMFiOcR2AH0Xk0foJBRW9HtgvTO/s1600/square+tissue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8uO1jw7Op2GNMqGK8ke-r2XemzAfQwgeAs2MROCebRT6uwTrix0srWgUxDCgIUM73djnVcK8mM_7ZdpKaJeD3x6LOf8fZ0Dh670NqiXc4jsVXmtTsOEMFiOcR2AH0Xk0foJBRW9HtgvTO/s1600/square+tissue.jpg" /></a></div><br />
What is with the napkins in bathrooms? Where it's not even a roll. It's just a little square. And they come out one at a time. You need 50 of them to wipe once. They're thinner than the cheapest roll you can buy. Half a ply I believe. Who invented that? It had to be some guy who hates women. He was like what would be the sneakiest way to enact my hatred for women? I've got it. Ill make them wipe with tiny strips of sand paper. It's like wiping your ass with cast away cheat sheets from a 6th grade English class.Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-42669467489449671882011-03-09T21:29:00.000-08:002011-03-09T21:29:09.009-08:00Don't ruin Brittana DayOn my way home, I saw a girl jump a dude. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSfaC3-H670r6BJX4uwQQ5cPx14HDXP5csX_wpEFR89xLrFeHsOZxfm-AM5BRyeXK-RVRWAIwje96PgMncvCmu7M9SOjLkLStTNfgieZetCENEuDwdCgiRf2xG4i3LJ_PvVfzSeQPogDWm/s1600/damn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSfaC3-H670r6BJX4uwQQ5cPx14HDXP5csX_wpEFR89xLrFeHsOZxfm-AM5BRyeXK-RVRWAIwje96PgMncvCmu7M9SOjLkLStTNfgieZetCENEuDwdCgiRf2xG4i3LJ_PvVfzSeQPogDWm/s320/damn.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No one did this and it made me sad.</td></tr>
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Everyone just sat their quietly continuing their business. Made me wonder what people think in that situation. My first instinct is to determine the likelihood that they have a weapon that could do me damage. Didn't look like they did so I sat there. Ilooked out the window, and listened to my iPod like it wasn't happening. I had this whole funny way to tell this story planned out in my head but I can't bring myself to do it. I can't bring myself to make a joke about how a ghetto Oprah appeared out of nowhere after the altercation was over. How did she know it was going on? She swooped in like her nigga moment radar had gone off and she was there to save the day.<br />
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It's bringing me down. It brought me down. I'd shared Brittana Day with two awesome gaydies, I'd gotten some good news about a certain hobby of mine, I'd had a decent night at the club and the way my day ends is by two black people fighting on the train? What kind of self-respect (or lack of) do you have to just attack someone on public transportation? I know it's public transit and crazy stuff happens all the time (a guy told me about how he got off a light rail because there was a homeless guy jacking off) but that doesn't mean I was ok with seeing it. Just sad. It almost makes me want to do something to help prevent stuff like this from happening. Almost.Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-24233785260166885852011-03-09T20:48:00.000-08:002011-06-14T22:34:07.800-07:00Everything I'm saying I'm super saiyan like GokuIt's been a whole two days since the Childish Gambino EP was released and I'm just now hounding you about it. Progress. DL <a href="http://bit.ly/gezDvE">here</a><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">This is the <a href="http://bishilarious.blogspot.com/2011/03/oh-heyyy-7-kristen-stewart.html">Kristen Stewart</a> of videos.</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe frameborder="0" height="225" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/20374589" width="400"></iframe></div><a href="http://vimeo.com/20374589">Freaks and Geeks</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user3558777">Donald Glover</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
<br />
I'm just saying if you're gonna talk about jizzing on someone' face, I appreciate the use of e.e. cummings.<br />
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Also, <a href="http://nayariverabasedgod.tumblr.com/">a funny tumblr for you</a>.Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-32260652564151321052011-03-05T20:56:00.000-08:002011-03-05T20:56:24.947-08:00Your brain on love<div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><div style="font-family: inherit;">The thing about relationships is everyone is crazy. I honestly think the way for relationships to work out is that you find someone whose crazy meshes well with yours. Know what your crazy is and own it. Sometimes you catch yourself in your own crazy and you become a relaxed, chill, functional adult. But other than, love is a drug and you know what they say about drugs...they're awesome. Kiddddinnnggg.</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqAzimtr51oFanl1cmRgfxeHIoRrPSKY8iAQYy8ykidAf_IOsmKR9vYKjBgmO3Y24usV3FAQZcdggd9-Unpd1U4YGccs-6wY4lymMl_Xc1PeNDzruH0MjNdI5grtYPbe4fHrP3GP6Q70N7/s1600/brain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqAzimtr51oFanl1cmRgfxeHIoRrPSKY8iAQYy8ykidAf_IOsmKR9vYKjBgmO3Y24usV3FAQZcdggd9-Unpd1U4YGccs-6wY4lymMl_Xc1PeNDzruH0MjNdI5grtYPbe4fHrP3GP6Q70N7/s320/brain.jpg" width="201" /></a></div><div style="font-family: inherit;">So what happens when you reach this plain of serenity? You get yourself in check.</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"> </div></span></span></span></div><div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="color: red; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm gonna chill out and not wish she got hit by a boat again. That was fucked up. How does someone even get hit by a boat?</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div></span></span></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">This is a great plan unless you get into an argument and the non-crazy form of you that exists for all of two hours can't come up with any good comebacks to combat your still crazy loved one. Technically sane you could avoid the fight altogether but who doesn't love a good fight?</span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZb30w0dS13Vn3x5_hsv-RyfbLjTmuUrKsenmklfpFoxhsTJBqm6eyidC9UAR7-tQvZpoiA1P1Vl7idgumkfryc1zPgQUHtfV-ZqqKouOnXe9ExA8YOGt_xZzKCmOn3AZfhRu2PbeN6phk/s1600/hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="138" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZb30w0dS13Vn3x5_hsv-RyfbLjTmuUrKsenmklfpFoxhsTJBqm6eyidC9UAR7-tQvZpoiA1P1Vl7idgumkfryc1zPgQUHtfV-ZqqKouOnXe9ExA8YOGt_xZzKCmOn3AZfhRu2PbeN6phk/s320/hands.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><div style="color: black; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Instead of your usual snarky comebacks, you're left with things that you're generally dissatisfied with but have nothing to do with the other person. This is because sane you tries to be nice. What a pussy. You may actively avoid meanness, but you're still an asshole that loves a good fight. So something like this happens</span><span style="font-size: small;"><b>: </b></span></div><div style="color: purple; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b></span></div><div><span style="color: purple; font-size: small;"><b>Crazy person</b> (in response to you watching Private Practice without them):</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: purple;">You are such an asshole. I can't believe I did this. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't even keep myself from dating you. I would go alllllll the way back and make sure you were never born. This is years of my life down the drain</span>.</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: purple;"><b> </b></span></span></div><div><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: purple;"><b> </b></span></span></div><div style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: purple;"><b>Sane person</b>: Years? Years??! Just yesterday I came home and we ain't have no chocolate milk. Why would you not remind me that we ain't have no chocolate milk?!?!</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b></span></div><div style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b></span></div><div style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Crazy person</b> (because you didn't laugh at their joke): I feel like you don't like me as a person. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span">Do you even like me anymore?</span></span></span></div><div><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"> </span></span></span></div><div><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"><span style="color: blue;"><b>Sane person</b>: How am I supposed to answer that? Ever since I got Final Jeopardy right you think I'm supposed to have all the answers. Am I God? Do I look like God to you? Does God like you as a person? </span></span></div></span></span></span></div></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: small; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"><div style="font-family: inherit;"> </div></span></span>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-37016401762347140722011-03-05T20:19:00.000-08:002011-03-05T20:19:28.364-08:00What does it look like?Why do people ask really obvious questions? That was a really obvious question - because they're stupid.<br />
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Regardless, I hate it. Sometimes it really bugs me. If I'm sitting on the couch eating a brownie and watching TV, why would you ask me what I'm doing. I'm sitting on the couch eating a brownie and watching TV. How was that not apparent? My little brother does the same thing. He knows what I'm doing; he asks because he wants me to pay attention to him. However, he knows that questions are preferable to throwing a temper tantrum. Grown ass humans seem not to have picked up on this. Because if I were to respond to with "uh, sitting on the fucking couch eating a brownie and watching TV" all of a sudden I'm the bad guy and there's a "problem." Probably has to do with the fact that I would most definitely add the word fucking and say it with a slight attitude but what do you want from me? What am I supposed to say in this situation?<br />
<br />
Building an A-bomb.<br />
Washing the car I don't have.<br />
Teaching myself French silently.<br />
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All of these would be lies. And they would say, "no, you're not." And then I would say, "Well what am I doing then?" And then they would answer their own damn question because anyone with eyes would have known that I was sitting on a couch eating a delicious brownie. Or not delicious because even if it wasn't that good, who doesn't finish a brownie ya know?Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8247030864888397286.post-56635333724645627162011-03-02T15:13:00.001-08:002011-03-02T15:14:43.125-08:00Someone related to me is in this videoI have lots of witty things to say about it but I'm lazy<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/32VaLMK_um0" title="YouTube video player" width="490"></iframe>Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01853614759917065945noreply@blogger.com0