1. People. Why stop now?
|All of you can go to Hell which doesn't exist.|
2. Hummus. Disgusting you guys.
|Do you look at this and go "yummm." The fuck is wrong with you.|
3. Friday Night Lights. I watched an entire 5 episodes and didn't tear up a single time so I don't understand what the fuss is. You people don't even like football. Or blacks.
|This is time better spent.|
4. People that wear colored contacts. The first place I look is your eyes. How can I trust you when the first thing I see is a lie.
|Did you learn nothing|
5. Fig Newtons. They're like the brussel sprouts of cookies. I've never had brussel sprouts but white people in sitcoms taught me they are not desirable.
|When you thought they couldn't get any worse|
6. Combs. Why can't they be more like brushes? Combs are the first step to looking like you care.