Your brain on love

The thing about relationships is everyone is crazy. I honestly think the way for relationships to work out is that you find someone whose crazy meshes well with yours. Know what your crazy is and own it. Sometimes you catch yourself in your own crazy and you become a relaxed, chill, functional adult. But other than, love is a drug and you know what they say about drugs...they're awesome. Kiddddinnnggg.

 

So what happens when you reach this plain of serenity? You get yourself in check.

 

I'm gonna chill out and not wish she got hit by a boat again. That was fucked up. How does someone even get hit by a boat?  

 

This is a great plan unless you get into an argument and the non-crazy form of you that exists for all of two hours can't come up with any good comebacks to combat your still crazy loved one. Technically sane you could avoid the fight altogether but who doesn't love a good fight? 

 

Instead of your usual snarky comebacks, you're left with things that you're generally dissatisfied with but have nothing to do with the other person. This is because sane you tries to be nice. What a pussy. You may actively avoid meanness, but you're still an asshole that loves a good fight. So something like this happens:

 

Crazy person (in response to you watching Private Practice without them):You are such an asshole. I can't believe I did this. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't even keep myself from dating you. I would go alllllll the way back and make sure you were never born. This is years of my life down the drain. 

 

Sane person: Years? Years??! Just yesterday I came home and we ain't have no chocolate milk. Why would you not remind me that we ain't have no chocolate milk?!?! 

 

Crazy person (because you didn't laugh at their joke): I feel like you don't like me as a person. Do you even like me anymore?

 

Sane person: How am I supposed to answer that? Ever since I got Final Jeopardy right you think I'm supposed to have all the answers. Am I God? Do I look like God to you? Does God like you as a person?

What does it look like?

Why do people ask really obvious questions? That was a really obvious question - because they're stupid.

Regardless, I hate it. Sometimes it really bugs me. If I'm sitting on the couch eating a brownie and watching TV, why would you ask me what I'm doing. I'm sitting on the couch eating a brownie and watching TV. How was that not apparent? My little brother does the same thing. He knows what I'm doing; he asks because he wants me to pay attention to him. However, he knows that questions are preferable to throwing a temper tantrum. Grown ass humans seem not to have picked up on this. Because if I were to respond to with "uh, sitting on the fucking couch eating a brownie and watching TV" all of a sudden I'm the bad guy and there's a "problem." Probably has to do with the fact that I would most definitely add the word fucking and say it with a slight attitude but what do you want from me? What am I supposed to say in this situation?

Building an A-bomb.
Washing the car I don't have.
Teaching myself French silently.

All of these would be lies. And they would say, "no, you're not." And then I would say, "Well what am I doing then?" And then they would answer their own damn question because anyone with eyes would have known that I was sitting on a couch eating a delicious brownie. Or not delicious because even if it wasn't that good, who doesn't finish a brownie ya know?

Someone related to me is in this video

I have lots of witty things to say about it but I'm lazy